I'm on the beach, standing at the edge of the ocean and Jesus is standing beside me. I see a shoreline far away in the distance and I don't know what it is but I do know that I really want to be there. Jesus says to me, "Let's go then," and starts to walk on the water. I stay still. He turns and reaches out to me, offering his hand. But I stay where I am, staring at the water.
"I don't know how," I say."Just try," he says.
I hear what he is saying and I know that if I have faith that I can do it, but I just have this fearful image in my head of me setting my foot down and it just sinking through the water. I know that Jesus wants me out there with him but I don't want to fail him or let him down by sinking. I know it's possible, but I don't know if I'll be able to. I want to walk. I want to walk so badly but I'm paralysed by fear at the waters edge. It's like I don't want to try it until my faith is strong enough.
"This is what I fear," says Jesus, "With that attitude, I fear that you'll never feel strong enough. I fear you'll stay there forever waiting for a better time. Just come. You're always going to want for a stronger faith, no matter how strong you get. So please, you just need to come, take my hand and try."
And so I take my very first step, half stumbling and terrified; I grab his hand and he holds it tight.
This is something I found myself writing down whilst at my new student community tonight. I'm not sure where in my head it came from, but after seeing it written down like that I found it rather comforting. Challenging, yes, very challenging, but comforting too. I just thought I would share it on here for anyone else who might be feeling the same way I do right now.
