On Making a Faith Oriented Film for Uni

Things are starting to happen with this film of mine which is very exciting! I talk a bit about it in this video above here. Again, those who have stories of healing and would be up for talking to me about them, please contact me, I would love to chat!! Seriously, any stories would be wonderful, you evem don't have to be in the film if you don't want to. E-mail: jo@joyfulmourne.com. Phone: 07412330665

So far making this film is proving quite the experience for me, and I haven't even begun filming yet! Never before has my faith come in contact with my university or school work like this before, and it is both exciting and terrifying. It's really quite surreal to sit with your lecturer in a tutorial discussing Jesus' teachings and fundamental Christian theology. Surreal, but pretty cool too. I have to admit, every time I have to get up in front of that class to discuss how my film is getting on, I'm terrified. I'm so aware that people could think I'm crazy, believing in stuff like this. At a few points my lecturer has made me speak about my own personal faith in front of the class. I've spoken about my faith to crowds before quite happily, but speaking about it to a Christian crowd feels quite different to speaking about it in a room full of athiests. I can't remember the last time I stammered so much in anything! But God has been gracious, and my friends have been very supportive, even expressing interest in my film. And if they do believe I'm crazy, well, they haven't said it to my face anyway haha! My hope is that through this film I'm making my friends might be able to see more of this God I talk about. 

I'll admit there's stuff I'm too scared to say still. On getting asked why I want to make the film, which I get asked a lot by my lecturer, the answer 'I believe God wants me to make this film' has always been replaced by '*shrug* I guess I'm just interested in finding out more about healing because I don't know much about it' (which is true also to be fair). I'm also scared of asking people to help me out with it. Most of all I am terrified of screwing up the film. I'm scared that everything's just going to fall through and I will have nothing to show. And I'm scared of it turning out just a badly made film haha! But I trust God, and I'm excited to see how it will turn up.

If you're the praying type, I would really appreciate prayer while I make this film. It's going to be a big challenge for me, one that I know I'll never be able to do without the support of God and also people like yourself. Cheers.

NO FOMO Part 2

Hey, there! It's been a while. I guess I haven't had that much to say, but tonight I want to talk about FOMO again. This post will make a lot more sense if you read my older post from about a month ago on FOMO. If you haven't read it, go read it already. Click here to do that.

I mentioned in that post that something I really struggled with was FOMO. I wrote that entry the day after we discussed it in Potential, and at that time I still just thought it was something that I struggled with a bit, but that was okay and it was just the way I was, . However, in the following days and weeks it occurred to me that this isn't just a little thing that I struggle with... this is everything I struggle with. My fear of missing out was making me paranoid, and scared and just not okay. For example, I would get so upset if I wasn't invited to something, or if I was invited to something that I really really didn't want to go to, I would go, not out of politeness, but of fear. I was constantly thinking of other places I could be, constantly missing the friends that I wasn't with, hardly ever content in the now. I often wondered why I wasn't joyful like I used to be or could be. This is what it was. My fear of missing out was controlling my whole life, dragging me down into a spiral of anxiety.

In this past month I have been working hard on combatting my fear of missing out. Just recognising that I have it and how much of an issue it is was a big step in helping. Every time I start thinking in a way that is affected by FOMO, I immediately recognise what I'm doing and am usually able to talk myself out of it. I have noticed a change, there have been a couple of times in just the last week or so where I would have felt anxiety flare up because of not feeling part of something, but I just shrugged, thought 'No FOMO' to myself, and carried on. I know that doesn't seem like that much of a big deal, but I'm not sure I can truly explain how much this means to me. This sort of stuff never used to fail to upset me, but within the past month or so I am getting over it. I have grown. I think it's maturing me as well, I've been able to look at certain situations with a more neutral and calm eye, rather than focusing on how it affects me. I really can feel a change within me, and that's awesome. I still have it, I still struggle with it. Just a couple of weeks ago, I found out I wouldn't be able to attend something that meant quite a lot to me, and my heart literally sped up with fear. I was terrified! So yeah, I still have a long way to go. So pray for me, pray that I will be able to maintain this new ability to start combating my fears. And join me in praying for everyone who really struggles with this, which I assume is a lot of people. We don't have to be full of fear.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.